It might have dawned to me belatedly — M’Lady being part of one of the Best Thesis to be displayed for underclassmen, parents, teachers and guests at my Alma Mater. With all the hustles and bustles that had happened prior to the exhibit opening, I had no grasp with the idea until it sunk to me when it ended. And when it finally did sink in, I was at loss to the greetings and congratulatory remarks of the people who saw my works and found out what came after it after the Thesis Presentation back February 2013. It might sound modest… but I only wanted to design things that would please me first. That was it. Okay… probably I wanted my Father to be proud of me too, my family and my banana-buddies as well. But that was it.
While I worked on M’Lady, conceptualizing the idea, researching and designing and finally producing it last year, all of these were meant to satisfy my personal whims. “It’s going to be for me!” And now it happened twice in my life: what was supposed to meant to please me somehow ended up being liked by the lot too. Dark~Sweet~Soul was and still is the adventure I had meant to be just for me and it ended up what it is now — a small business to cater others. Now M’Lady shares the same fate too. Is the Universe trying to tell me something?
In the beginning of designing M’Lady, I was pretty sure that I was the only one who fancy rigid bags — all upright and boxy for my OC self. While browsing through notable elements at department stores and thrift stores (I kid you not. *laughs* I was getting inspirations!), I realized how scallop edges were cute. And then came natural colors because my fashion style shifted from punk and dark to natural colors of brown and beige and pink. I practically talked about the idea of “M’Lady” with my family and banana-buddies all the time, even to strangers too to get some input of their thoughts. What was once a chitchat of getting through the presentation, now I talked about how I just finished displaying my works in an exhibit. Point being: how time flies when you love what you do.
I have my own share of fears towards M’Lady. I always tell it to my friends too. Everyday I try to fight off the idea that M’Lady is not meant for this market. That because it is too different. And it is an independent brand that might have little support and buying powers. M’Lady is a business after all. If it doesn’t have clients and potential ones in the future, it won’t survive after years. When I think about that kind of fate, I literally choke up. Because I just do not want to stop designing what I do. I do not want to stop what I do. Would the Universe let me continue or…
It hasn’t been easy, putting myself out there and market M’Lady. I’m a ball of shyness with little confidence. That much I’m aware about myself. But I also do know that if I do not do something about what I love the most, nothing will progress at all. To which I’ll hate the most. That was why I allowed myself to really focus on the exhibit and gave it my all. (HOOOO POETIC SHIZ anyway XDDD)
And booooy the reception towards M’Lady was overwhelming, I couldn’t believe it myself. Because once again I’d go back to first impression I thought about towards my own designs: I thought I was the only who’d fancy it.
Though I’m the only one managing M’Lady since Day 1, I am not alone. At all. Time and time I have been supported and guided by people who has so much faith in me (even though I myself cannot fathom as to whyyyy because… I’m just me, you know? Just a small gal…) and believe in what I do. My Dad and my siblings — especially Ajanini who witnessed my blood and tears and my passionate feels towards what I do. My buddies like Che and Rani who allowed me to drag them to places just to find and learn about the business I was and still am doing. With Meia, I turned them into my inspirations and muses and the epitome of my ideal “princess” just because they are. Sheng and Joe have made me feel professional in what I do and would always be there to remind me to just be myself even though things are going crazy at my end. I am nothing without these people. M’Lady would cease to be without them too.
The support I have been getting from more people warms me greatly. During the exhibit, I cannot stop thanking those who came to personally see me: Kristin, Little Ysai (who always voiced her enthusiasm towards my designs ever since) and Vanessachi who already did so much promoting my line. I have collaborated with Vanessachi and Crizeel for their respective blogs in tandem with M’Lady and you can catch their general hilarity at their own sites: Vanessa on FB and Crizeel’s Zelantrophy. Thank you so much ladies! You guys have done so much already. And to Manchie and Princess Loui for stopping by.
And to those who saw my works during the duration of the exhibit and thought fondly of them, thank you too. I can assure you that I have so much more interesting designs that I can’t wait to release in the coming months. I may still be a bit fidgety and unsure of the path I’m taking I’ll still continue my best to make it the path I’m meant to be in.
With all of my love from my fragile heart,