Old Works

2013 Trottin’ Conclusion!

Like all 2013-ending posts on FB, Twitter, Tumblr and more, allow me to add mine as I want to look back at all the adventures that happened in the span of twelve months. Nothing was more of roller-coaster ride than what happened this year and truly they couldn’t have occurred and taught me in any other way.

January: 75% to 100% Thesis Endorsement for M’Lady. At this period M’Lady was at its final stage before presentation. My vivid memory of January was the back and forth of going to UST, spazzing over the bags as they were displayed in the dining table (because I couldn’t find any place for them to put!).

Luca was still around and I was sure I was obsessing over him. *laughs* My little prince was growing after all.

February: the 8th was my Defense, with the cheering and rooting of my family and friends (whether they were physically there or not). I bagged the Best Thesis and I couldn’t believe the results of my efforts. Until now I’m not one for achieving star results — I simply wanted to do what I enjoy doing. And make my Dad, my family and friends proud of me. February was most memorable, really.

Though one comical memory of mine during this month was my, uh, awkward Graduation shoot. If I wasn’t designated to a good-looking male photographer during my fashion shoot, I wouldn’t have made the toothy grin and groaned face! Argh! Anyways, February was the start of my improving crossdressing ways too! Doing my favorite artist – Yukina Kou – and too-happy singing idol – Shuichi Shindo. Gay all the waaaay.

March: Graduation month! In which, for the first time, I obediently followed my school’s attire protocol and went simple. By the I realized it, I was so chibi in comparison with all the high-heeled co-graduating ladies. I was so small! *laughs* Iisipin ko na lang ng cute pa din ako. *laughs* I was really happy my family got to see me in my toga and accepting the Thesis Award.

Sadly, for this month my little prince Luca departed so quickly, I wasn’t ready for a heartbreak and loss. I grieved for him for quite a while and anything that reminded me of him made me teary. When I look back and remember the time when we admitted him to the animal clinic, there was a day I went for a DSS meet up. And during my FX rides to and fro (even inside the mall), I kept wiping my stinging eyes. It was hard to breathe and everything was heavy. I loved my dear Luca and I thought I wouldn’t recover. That last puppy look on his face is forever burned in my heart.

April: Summer hot for Dark~Sweet~Soul during Visual Music Carnival 2, going orenji-blonde for the first time and winning second place at a Japanese singing contest at Little Tokyo, Makati. Around this period was a realization of how I try and try to engage and get involved to a lot of my hobbies and to a lot of what truly makes me happy – fashion, craft and music… with the unending support of my family and friends.

The Fool’s Month was also the month of my favorite Exorcist – Allen Walker – and club-managing and fashionably gothic Okama – Someya Kaoruko. *heart*

May: M’Lady’s first month as my second business (plus the great bag Giveaway) and my favorite month because it’s my birth-month! May was pretty much booked for days of managing the new fashion thing, with the help my my muses who delightfully posed for me as M’Lady’s models. Had fun during the shoot, especially when my friends are as excited as me. Of course the fright and insecurities of what I was about to start into didn’t leave me unjittered. I was afraid of starting M’Lady — of starting anew again. I love M’Lady and I’m still scared of the thought of not being able to give her the life I want her to have. My passionate self scares me even more.

June: This was the busy time of my, uh, post-summer-ish season when I – along with my co-exhibit artists – were preparing for the Best Thesis Exhibit. There were a lot of ups and downs before the actual day and I was glad to made it through despite the rough destination towards it. I wouldn’t want to be too specific with the details because I don’t really fancying getting caught up with what had happened already. Holding onto negative feelings towards outside factors are not really my thing after all.

Around this time was my Dad’s workplace inauguration and how a lot of mayhem me and my siblings got into. *laughs* Oh, how I enjoy reminiscing these. Oh, oh! This was also the time I started promoting DSS and M’Lady’s attendance on Fantasy Quest 3 too. I had two shoot for these — adding into the mix my adoration with brave, goth-donning Ayase Yukiya. Might I add that doing the make-shift studio was tedious! But it was all worth it.

July: If my memory serves me correctly, this month was the time when author Kuya JP finally released his book – The KPOP Star and I – and he got me as his cover book artist. Thank you! T’was fun doing it!

August: with the arrival of Sam Tubby, I’ve been posting more photos and hilarity and OOTDs. I was still getting the hang of being “super updated” with the others because advance handheld devices are like that. *laughs* So it was me hello-ing to Instagram too. Ah, I feel so outdated until Sam Tubby came rolling about! Kkkkkk!

Most of my days were dedicated in preparing for Fantasy Quest: 3 here too.  I was pretty sure I was an ecstatic fella because seeing Fernwood Gardens tickled and delighted my nature and foreign-theme loving self.

September: Probably the Sapatos Festival 2013 of my city was the highlight of this month, as I continually promoted it because I wanted to. I was out more, trotting about Shoe Avenue and going to places to shoot. And in commemoration to my place’s proud industry I even made a fanart just fer it! *flails* The remarks of my friends about me being amazingly patriotic and supportive are ringing wonderfully inside my ear. I just know… that if I didn’t love my hometown, who else would?

Tsuna Sawada made into my cosplay plan this year too! And it was all sorts of comical shooting with my favorite rabbit as we tried to capture the likes of the No-Good Mafia Boss-to-be.

Lastly, Kisa and Hiro came into my arms and I was a doting, happy mother again. I honestly thought I wasn’t ready to love a companion again… but Kisa was a miracle cat and Hiro was fluff ball of mischief. My kids made my days warmer, mayhemetic and interestingly furry.

October: the great Enchanted Kingdom adventure with my buddies! After so many years of being together (since grade school, high school and even college might I add!) this was the only time we ever held an outing to have fun and be merry. I’ve been with these ladies for as long as I remembered and I’m very thankful that I have them. We may all have different paths in life but we always make sure to meet up at one point to catch up, only to continue ahead in our own individual routes. I’m berry lucky to have them… and proud to say they are truly my circle of bananas.

We had our hourly-long dosage of pyrotechnical amusement back at EK so I’m good with not watching too many fireworks at the eve of January 2014.

November: Quite a month of personal struggle since I started with a, uh, routine and I thought I made a baaaaad decision to go with it. Patience helped me heaps. As well as staying a hermit indoors until I recovered. Now I feel much better… quite so that it made a huge impact on my self-esteem as well.

For more than five years I battled with low self-esteem — that much my buddies know my insecurities and the monsters inside of me. And after that routine I’m more confident to hold my head up, instead of staring downward onto the pathways like they held the mysteries of the world. I’ve never felt good about myself until now. And I try to gain more confidence and trust in myself… and to the dreams my “self” are holding onto, to the talent my “self” truly possess. That maybe, just maybe, as I am, I am enough.

December: Started part-timing at my Dad’s workplace — a challenge that tests my adaptability whether I could or could not, without the presence of the field I’m usually in and is comfortable to be in. I’ve been trying, honest! And I think I’m… getting a better hand on it too. Somehow. As a competition to my old self, I promised to learn new things each year!

Still, I know where my heart lies in and the career I want pursue — far from what I’m doing now. I’m thankful that even though my Dad knows that, he’s understanding me and supporting me all the way.

Well. Aren’t I glad I kept tabs in writing and blogging. Looking back on the trots I placed myself into (or got myself into…. or whichever!), it’s heartwarming to learn how I survived 365 days to welcome a new one. What adventure lies ahead of me this 2014, I wonder. What lessons and experiences are in stored for me by the Universe too.

For the new folks I met this year and the company that stayed with me, I hope we can still be together for another carnival ride with me. And I’m glad I got closer with the persons I really want to be with too. You need not hear the words of endearment from me… as my actions sings louder than my manly voice (well, sabi daw ganun ang Gemini eh! Aheh!)

And for the self for the upcoming year, let’s promise to be more… courageous. And to be kinder with the self. Have discipline, perseverance, faith and trust with what we have and what we can do. Remember Self, just as you are, you already special and wonderful. Believe in that.

Have an awesome-sauce New Year, everyone!


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